Welcome To My Asylum

It's supposed to snow at around noon. ._. I do not want it to. I hate snow.

The outrageous wind gusts woke me up at 0200, and it's still windy. I don't want to go back outside because of the weather. I could go home because this is only a review day in psychology, but I would still have to venture out into the cold to reach my car in the campus center parking lot. I might as well just go to class and earn bonus points for attendance and participation. Plus, I brought my workbook and actually filled out all of the chapter eight study guide questions. I want my damn points. >>"

OMG, NOVA had a shooting!? Why can't anything exciting occur at IUPUI!?

I'm not looking forward to going home this afternoon either... I have to find three more examples of ancient text mentioning Achilles, and I have to gather five images of him from artifacts (not that that will be difficult). I just don't feel like writing twenty pages of summaries and comparisons. AND I still need to write my performance appraisal for English class. Both of these papers are due Saturday morning.

Yesterday was the rehearsal for the poster session in Dr. Appleby's class. I'm trying to think of something creative I can do for my poster board because I had to buy a white board. I was thinking of locating either my pastels or markers and stenciling patterns onto the background, then reprinting all fifteen pages on Saturday when we're in the computer lab in English. That way I'm not wasting any more of my own ink and I won't have to use the construction paper again. I have to buy rubber cement to paste the papers onto the board if I use pastels though...

I can't stay awake past 22.00. CAN'T. I'm tired throughout the day and I lost my zeal for going to my psychology classes.

Note how I am still willing to watch Junjou Romantica again. Life's a pain.

So my poster presentation rehearsal is this Tuesday afternoon. I have no idea what is expected of me. All I know is I failed to identify a mentor and will lose five points as a penalty. I feel like I should have made better use of my Thanksgiving Break to prepare for this, because I have to know exactly how I intend to apply and enter graduate school, or the workforce as a Plan B. My mother is my "honored guest" at this session, so I'm already nervous as hell. Digging my grave deeper and deeper~

I have a final on Wednesday, HPER: Group Exercise. I'm unprepared for it as well. I have to write a performance appraisal and a research paper on Achilles by Saturday. ._. Oh je... To top it all off, I think I'm getting sick. I felt like I was going to throw up all morning. Of course, I also had a grande coffee this morning... 21.36, I'm going to bed.

Submitted my application for the undergraduate teaching assistant position in B105, hope I get it. ._. I mean, going through all of the trouble of being authorized to take 20 credit hours will be a pain, but it will all be worth it in the end.

I think my personality did a complete 180. I'm actually excited for an opportunity to be useful within the department and to help the freshmen with their psychology courses. Yeah, I get credit for B422, it looks good on a curriculum vita, and I've got two professors who can write me strong letters of recommendation to a graduate program; but that's not why I want to do it. For once I actually want to help someone else for no payment. Maybe I have a cold?

Papers I need to write by Saturday:

• Document Analysis -- Data Analysis and Interpretation section
• Aeneas & Odysseus comparison
• transmittal letter
• closing statements for the document analysis

Papers I need to rewrite/write by Monday:

• Courses and Electives
• Letters of Recommendation
• KSCs
• Savvy Psychology Major
• Four year spreadsheet
• Kisses of Death in applying to a graduate school
• Entering Graduate School
• Entering the Workforce with a B.S. in psychology
• Curriculum Vita
• Course Reflection and Future Plans
• Dr. Appleby's course letter
• 2 copies of Elizabeth's letter

Ick, my life sucks with just 16 credit hours. DDD:
Oh well, shower time~

I have yoga and labwork tomorrow, and it's going to rain so I will have to do pilates in the evening. What a pain...

Petr + Lisa + two brats = HEADACHE.

Yeah. This morning he said he's looking forward to Christmas, which is going to be calm and quiet because Petr and his family are traveling to Woodbridge to visit the In-laws.

Tristan and Ari did not want to sleep so they spent the entire day screaming and crying. It's not their fault; their parents took away all of their schedule cues. Rather than keep them watching the same television shows they usually have on during the weekdays, Petr and Lisa decided they would rather watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Why? I don't know. It's not like the good ol' days when you listened to the bands perform and could actually see all of the floats, street performers, and balloons. They cut to commercial whenever there's not some shit American musician "singing." Muppets? The Muppets died with Jim Henson. >|

So the kids did not know what time it was and did not recognize that they needed their nap time. Lisa ended up becoming overly frustrated/borderline psychotic AGAIN.


Food was yummy. I fear I've gained five pounds though. DD: I've already gone for one walk today, I'll be walking another 3 miles later on with my mother, then tonight I will spend an hour doing pilates. I refuse to leave the 115-120 range ever again (hah, no kids for me). Plus I need to do more strength training for my upper body. Free weights, crunches, pilates push-ups... I'll probably do those awful triceps push-ups the instructor had my class doing at the end of ever kickboxing session. DDD: I'm going to pass out tonight~

Residual anger.

The meeting with LRDCA was scheduled for last Friday. Pamela and Ggodnim were going to conduct a second interview and collect copies of documents for me to analyze to complete the primary research portion of our project.

Pamela fucking rescheduled it for this Tuesday because she wanted to see the new Twilight movie. I hate people.

Now we have a serious problem with the remaining assignments, which all had to be painstakingly reassigned on Saturday. Ggnodnim is going out of the country for Thanksgiving Break and will be staying at a place with no Internet. This would not have been a problem had the documents been acquired Friday because she could have just taken her laptop and typed up the methodologies section while on vacation and sent it the Friday night she came back. But no, she leaves Tuesday, so there's nothing she can do for the project during the break.

Then there's me. I'm responsible for primary research analysis and interpretation. ._. I NEED those documents in order to write anything at all. I have an appointment at 10:00 with Cindy, but I have to be at the library to meet everyone at 9:30 so I can get a copy of the documents.

I've already told my mother that if they don't have a copy ready for me by 9:40, I'm fucking leaving and they can just reassign the project elements AGAIN because I've fucking had it with them all. Getting my UTA info and a track specialization is more important.

This is why I hate group projects.

Dr. Beth emailed applications to students who met academic requirements. Granted I have a busy 17-credit-hour schedule next Spring, I can do it if I am able to work the Tu/Th afternoon class or the Mon evening class. I'm not worried about my PRC work because I have Fridays off in the afternoon, so I can get my two required hours then.

I plan on talking to Dr. Herold and Dr. Williams on Monday and Tuesday about it however. They might advise me to tell Beth that I'm interested in next Fall or a Summer term as opposed to killing myself this Spring. ._. But I have to get it done, I absolutely cannot fuck this up. My only problem is being visible within the department. Research, grades, and volunteerwork aren't a problem. I just need to learn to speak the fuck up.

I had to go participate in research again this morning. It was an experiment designed to study the correlation between personality and goal-fulfillment. I was feeling rather happy-go-lucky when I awoke at seven o'clock. Actually, I felt like I performed well on the tasks, with the exception of the object search. The research assistant said I did well at least. I had him sign my B103 Psychology Activities Form, so that's one event down. I just need to have someone in the Psychology Club sign on the seventeenth of this month and I'll have my two mandatory activities completed. After that I'll need to get a signature from my advisor, Cindy, and I'll have one point of extra credit for the class.

I ran into my English instructor on my exit. She thought I was there to meet with my group for the interview scheduled today, which is a no. I have too much to do on Fridays. I'm writing another report in B105 about the effect watching television has on habitual eating cues. And I have to write my final paper for B103, which is due on Tuesday. Nyar. I also have a German vocabulary quiz over the first two vocabulary lists of chapter five on Tuesday. Not to mention I have my third four-chapter test on Wednesday in Group Exercise. That will be the last one until the final, and she gives us all of the answers because she actually doesn't count the chapter tests in our final grade. We're supposed to study the tests and take the final, which all of the questions come directly from.

So, going back to the experiment. The object search was basically along the lines of the I Spy books. The first object I had to find was a fork. The second object was a pennant. The last object was a screwdriver, which I never found. I looked all over the picture for three minutes and I couldn't find anything remotely resembling the screwdriver. In fact, I found everything else in the world but that damned screwdriver. It was a nightmare. I'll be dreaming about screwdrivers for a week.

Just one month and the semester ends~

Ick, I feel awful. My head hurts. I get these weird migraines that elicit sharp pains in either eye. It makes it difficult to get all of my assigned reading completed.

-Schedule an appointment with Cindy
-Rewrite my ten psych. papers
-Find a three-fold poster board
-Review everything in psych.
-Study for the test in group exercise next wed.
-Get at least two psych. activities signed off on.

Ugh, I feel sick. My throat is scratchy, my nose gets stuffy, and there's a strange taste in my mouth. God, let it be the common 4-day cold.

This is my schedule next semester.  Joy.


But at least I have no weekend classes, or classes that meet just once a week.


Man, I don't want to go in tomorrow.  There are two events being held downtown adjacent campus that start before eight o'clock.  That means I will have to drive all the way on 10th St. and go across Michigan St.  It's a pain in the neck.  The speed limit is 35 mph but I have to drive 50 mph just to keep up with everyone else and not be run off of the road.

Plus, I hate my English class.  I'm glad that this is the last Area II course I have to take to meet my graduation requirements.  'Just gotta make it through the rest of the semester, get my A, and forget it all.  -_-

I'm an idiot.

I had the TA application form in my inbox the whole time!  I could have shown everyone in my group on Sunday the requirements of being a TA, instead of panicking over whether or not I'd get to interview Dr. Herold today (which I didn't, she was incredibly busy).

Yeah, Dr. Neal-Beliveau is the course coordinator of B105.  She sent out emails in August to students who met the base requirements for mentoring.  I COULD HAVE FUCKING DONE IT MYSELF AND WOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS BULLSHIT MYSELF!!!

So, I realized exactly two minutes ago that I sabotage myself on a daily basis.

FFFFFF~

So, I expected from the last message on Oncourse that we would all be meeting on the second floor of the university's library.  I replied saying that I would at least be seeing April and Andrea there.  This exchange was done Thursday.  Has anyone fucking acknowledged that we would be meeting here today at 13:00?  FUCK NO, because that would be an efficient use of communication media.  That would make for a productive team.  ._.

Seriously, just let me work on an assignment alone because at least then it will get done PROPERLY and ON TIME.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

02) What was your dream growing up?

03) What talent do you wish you had?

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

05) Favorite vegetable?

06) What was the last book you read?

07) What zodiac sign are you?

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

09) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?

27) Do you believe in ghosts?

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

29) Do you swear a lot?

30) Biggest pet peeve?

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

33) Favorite and least favorite food?

34) Do you believe in God?

35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

God, I am so sick of writing!!!  D<

It never ends!  I have to write a three-to-four page paper about Pentheus explaining to Persephone how he died.  This would be easy if the damn textbook gave any information about Persephone's personality.  Despite being Queen of the Underworld, she did not strike me as being a complete witch in the Homeric Hymn to Demeter.  She seemed more like a child.  With her now being in Tartarus for some time, I would think she would be more mature mentally, but I really do not know.  I was really hoping I would not be spending my Friday afternoon searching the Internet for information about the Greek gods.

In addition to writing this paper, I have to finish answering the discussion questions about the Bacchae for tomorrow, even though I will not be involved in answering in class.  I was the scribe last time we had a class discussion.  This time it's either Amanda or Edward's turn.

I have not read any of chapter three or four in my PsyBioSci textbook and I have my exam on Sunday.  Shoot me.

I forgot all about my research requirements.  I looked on the Experimetrix website and found one that I really would have enjoyed (because I would have very little interaction with anyone), but the appointments are all closed.  It sucks.  That ONE experiment would have covered all of my research points for PsyBioSci.  But I need to get as many points now as I can, so I took the next best option, which is a meeting in which I roleplay as a Hollywood producer and decide what movies to produce this season.  I also have to fill out a bunch of surveys regarding hopes and goals and whatnot.  The correlation between the two?  I have no idea.  I'm not going to question three research credit points though...

That means I just need to take one 1-hour research activity and I will have gathered my four required points for the semester.  Swoo.  I figure I would wait and see if any new experiments or studies pop-up on the website until then.

The other thing I forgot about were my PAs in IntroPsych.  I have to participate in two psychology-related activities.  I am going to count the meeting with my counselor as one and then the other is going to be another research activity on Experimetrix, which I will not be nearly as picky about since it's just participation; points do not matter.

It's 12:16, I want to go for a walk, so I am going to awaken my sick father and tell him "NOW."  :D

My morning class was canceled.  I found out from Jared after walking into the room; he was finishing his preliminary proposal and stumbled across the instructor's email from 22:30 yesterday night.  Apparently Mahoney had a flu relapse and could not come in this morning, so she has to rework the schedule for next week, and every week after, so that we can finish the final team project on time.

The worst part about my morning class being canceled is that for once I do not have anything else to do.  I still have Classical Myth at 12:00, so I have not left campus.  However I got all caught up with my readings yesterday, so there really is nothing to keep me occupied while I wait.

Actually, I take that back.  I could finish reading and taking notes on my vasovagal reactions article so that all I have left to do tomorrow is type up my summary and submit it, but after looking at all of the charts I got bored.  I still have the article pulled up on Adobe, but I'm taking a break from it.  >.>;;  I also grabbed a book before I left but I just don't feel like reading anything right now.

Argh, it's only 10:00...  And someone is in the stairwell clearing their throat in a most audibly vile manner.  DDD:  I am horrified.

Which brings me to Monday...  Oh boy...  What is wrong with people?  Why do they feel the need to answer their phones while using a lavatory, actually USING the lavatory!?  And then to actually tell the poor soul on the other end of the line that THAT is what they are doing at the moment, good grief!  I hate people.  I truly hate them.  T_T

Heh, I just noticed that someone downloaded Second Life on this PC.  XD

Going back to my absent instructor, it's unfair to me and the fourteen other students who submitted our proposals yesterday evening.  I noticed today that Jared still had not submitted his, but now three other people have submitted theirs this morning AFTER CLASS WOULD HAVE STARTED.  They had better be marked down as late since she specifically said all papers had to be turned in by Friday evening so she could review them and we could select projects the following morning.

Ggodnim's proposal made me want to cry reading it.  English is not her first language for one.  Secondly we were instructed not to choose topics relating to IUPUI because the administration doesn't care what the students think about anything.  She chose to do research on the Economics Department in the School of Liberal Arts.  Her issue is that their undergraduate program is insufficient.  They have to take eight hours of economics courses, then thirty-one hours outside of that, which can be anything.  Compared to her university in South Korea, it's a joke.  She wants to survey students and faculty within the Economics Department about the program as well as the possibility of having their own school, similar to IUPUI's Kelly's School of Business.

IUPUI does not care, and in order for the Economics Department to become its own school you would have to find a sponsor to back it financially.  That is how Kelly developed to begin with.  The other schools exist because they're the norm.  It does not matter if EVERYONE associated with the department wants a school, it will not happen.

I waited so late to decide on my preliminary proposal that now I am stuck with trying to make a lame idea workable.  It doesn't really bother me simply because I did not want an outstanding idea to begin with, because then I would have to lead a team project.  I just hope that my instructor doesn't see through the flimsy facade of my project and find that it's complete bullshit.

In any case, I have a German test today, which I have not studied for and will probably not do so well on.

I got a 90 on my quiz on perception.  I don't get to find out until Saturday what question I missed.  :|  That makes me angry.  It was probably the question about "Sandy thinks she saw a ghost, what best explains what she saw?"  I put perceptual illusion, but I'm thinking the correct answer was actually psychosis.  I don't really know.  I flipped through that entire section of the book and could not find the answer, which means it was probably on the Breeze presentation that I did not watch (Neal-Beliveau makes psychology uninteresting).

I ate too much again.  I don't know why.  You'd think I'd learn each and every time I start to have stomach and chest pain and throw up, but I don't.


Oh well, at least I can't tomorrow.  My lunch is two Pop-Tarts and a bottle of water and I'm making my own dinner for the sake of my own sanity (salmon, brussel sprouts, and more vegetables).  And I'm going to force myself into the "sip some water, take a bite, chew slowly and count to twenty-five, swallow, sip more water, etc." trick to keep from eating more than my stomach can handle.


This fucking blows, but not as much as 07 Ghost at times...


...WHY DOES TEITO BITCH ABOUT MIKAGE WHEN HE'S RIGHT ON HIS DAMN SHOULDER THE ENTIRE TIME!?  Yeah, okay, your best friend died for you, but then he came back to continue protecting you.  Get over it.  D<  The intermissions are really gay.  Mikhail makes my soul bleed.  And does the mommy dragon come after reincarnated-Mikage like in the manga?  O.o


I am completely unprepared for English class tomorrow.  I did not read chapter three of my textbook, and I didn't really research jobs in clinical psychology.  I mean, I did the latter.  The only groups hiring clinical psychologists in the Indianapolis area are the Navy and Air Force.  I didn't look at the specific job offers in terms of salary, just that both require experience and I'm assuming at least a MA.


It's really not a big deal.  I'm reasonably confident in my ability to bullshit my way through this class and still receive an A end of term.  I know how to write professional letters.  I have created memos and advertisements in MS Word in the past.  I just have to remember to keep on top of deadlines.  This weekend/week will be Hell.  I have to actually STUDY certain pages of the Savvy Psychology class syllabus for a quiz on Tuesday, plus I have my first short paper due.  I haven't even looked at the syllabus outside of class.
 

And then there's my gym class.  We have a textbook co-written by Dr. Oz.  I have to read the first four chapters by the Monday following Labor Day for our first test.  The chapters are epic.  I started reading the book on the first day of class a week and a half ago and only managed to get a quarter of the way through the first chapter.  It reads like any standard [insert subject] and YOU! textbook from high school.  T_T
 

ARGH!


I just took Quiz 1A for Psy Bio Sci.  It was actually rather easy, but still, I had to power read the first half of chapter one before taking it because the quiz closes tonight at 23:55.  >.<  And I still have to read chapters two and three of my writing textbook before tomorrow morning.  It's all rather uninteresting.  I understand that being able to conduct a professional business letter is important but the least they could do is making the examples more applicable to the majority of students taking the class (science majors).  Telecommunication = boring.  I don't care.  I especially do not care because I took Business Administrations in the Spring and one of the local companies we had to follow as a class was an epic failure of a telecommunications business.  They sold on NASDAQ for eleven cents a share.  ._.


Currently I'm taking a break from reading, since I got the most important assignment out of the way already, and am knocking back bottle after bottle of water.  I'm on episode 9 of 07 Ghost.  T_T  "We're almost there...!  No, we're not."


I have no idea what I'm going to eat for lunch tomorrow.  I think that I will probably eat my breakfast, go to the campus center, and buy some Frosted Strawberry/Blueberry Pop-Tarts out of a vending machine and make that my lunch.  I only have twenty minutes between English and Classical Myth, and I'll be using that time as a restroom break and study time.  So non-nutritive lunch it is.  >.>;;


Oi, I have to finish my notes for the first chapter and watch Breeze 1B because next Monday Quiz 1B opens, plus the first exam will be opened in the testing lab, and I'll have to complete both by that Friday.  Not to mention I'll be juggling the first writing project in my English class, due that Saturday.  D:  It's happened.  I've fallen behind within the first two weeks of a new semester.  FML.

Thursday:
First quiz in German.  Numbers, classroom items, and colors~  Ich liebe gruen!  <3


Swoo.


Anyway, we worked our core body muscles this morning in gym.  Most of the girls in my class are surprisingly out of shape.  Our first work out was fifty crunches; no problem.  Nearly everyone stopped to rest at twenty.  :|  What?  I guess I'm the only person insane enough to do at least two hundred everyday.



There's a meeting at my house tomorrow evening.  I feel sorry for my father.  He's stuck here while I'll be escaping with school.  Plus he works tomorrow morning.  D:


My head has been hurting since Sunday.  I don't know why.  And I'm going back to my "if it came packaged and has preservatives, DO NOT WANT" mentality tomorrow.  So, salad for lunch and more vegetables for dinner.  Fresh fruit as a snack while I'm trapped in evening classes.  Yes, I will be that health nut.  My B103 classmates are going to hate me.  I will not be bringing in junk food.  And on principle, I will not be eating any of their junk food.  Oh well~

Yes, dad; I am.


We went to IHOP this morning/noon for brunch.  I got the Harvest Grain'N Nut Healthy Combo.  It was yummy.  I ate like half of what was there.
 

Dad got some superstar breakfast that had hashbrowns, ham, bacon, eggs, and he ordered the Blueberry Blitz Pancakes with it.  I tried a bite of the pancakes.  They were good.


Then we went to Target because he needed Tylenol and I wanted sugar-free pudding.  I decided I wanted to try the dark chocolate Reese's Cups, so we split the candy.  OH MY GODS!  O_O  Their peanut butter actually tastes like peanut butter again!  When did this happen!?  Dark chocolate Cups are good, by the way.


I had cereal for dinner.


Oh, and I am slightly prophetic!  :D  Not really.  Yesterday my muscles were all stretched and felt weird.  It's always the next day that they swell and become sore, which yeah, they are right now.  It sucks because I have gym class tomorrow and while I need to keep using those muscles, I don't particularly want to do anything.


I've decided to keep my food and exercise log for gym online in private entries.  I gave up on planning ahead.  I'm just going to eat as I normally do, rather than plan ahead.  Although I AM going to eat the two vegetable servings I have stocked in the fridge for lunch tomorrow.  I figured I can have a kiwi before dinner, eat dinner (mm, spaghetti), and then maybe enjoy a pudding.  As long as I don't overeat, I don't have a problem.


What else?  Oh yeah, it takes exactly eight minutes to walk from Cavanaugh to LD.  I have fifteen minutes between Savvy Psychology and Intensive German to get from the former to the latter.  I'll have to remember to inform my "family" before class five that I can only stay after class for two minutes to help clean up because of the time constraint and distance.


German was actually better today.  More people brought books so we actually were able to read some dialogue and learn new terms and phrases.  Unfortunately the difference between the eighth and ninth editions of Deutsch Heute are so profound that those who bought the eighth edition used will have to either eat the cost AND buy the ninth edition, or they'll have to hurry and return their books tomorrow morning before the cut-off for returns is in effect.  :|  I'm glad I order all of my books as soon as the bookstore gets the materials lists from professors/instructors during the break.  I also found out that there is no difference between the fourth and revised fourth editions of Savvy Psychology Major.  Well, there's a difference; the fourth edition is a binder with loose-leaf printed pages of the textbook, whereas the revised fourth edition is actually a paperback book.  The content is the same.


LAB WORK TOMORROW IN PSY BIO SCI~  :D